Conviction

12 The Promised Land is a land the Lord your God cares for; 

the eyes of the Lord your God are continually on it

from the beginning of the year to its end...

15 God will provide grass in the fields for your cattle, 

and you will eat & be satisfied.

16 Be careful, or you will be enticed to turn away & worship other gods & bow down to them.

17 Then the Lord's anger will burn against you, 

& He will shut the heavens so that it will not rain

and the ground will yield no produce,

and you will soon perish from the good land the Lord is giving you.

--Deuteronomy 11:12, 15-17

What if, by "land", "grass", & "cattle", I read Provisions- for whatever need is in my life.

What if, by "other gods", I read Physical Beauty. Control. Safety. Being right. Self.

What if, by "ground will yield no produce", I read Will never be at peace with the way things are now.

How often do you or I flail to attain even the inherently & genuinely good things in life, but experience perpetual disappointment because we expect things to work on our terms? 

I do want a healthy marriage- I want to trust, to be gracious, and to encourage my husband when we're both imperfect. I want to see a difference when I work out & seek nutritional balance - because I do those things way more often than not. I want to be at peace with the way I earn my living- despite the fact that it isn't what I thought I would do growing up. I want to feel like I'm not disappointing someone, somewhere, somehow, on any given day.

But I can't do any of those things, no matter how hard & consistent I try.

I can't do them on my own. Do you ever feel that way?