The Boogie Man

But we who would be born again indeed,

Must wake our souls unnumbered times a day

And urge ourselves to life with holy greed.

Now open our bosoms to the wind's free play,

And now, with patience forceful, hard, lie still

Submiss and ready to the making will,

Athirst and empty, for God's breath to fill.

- from The Sacred Romance

I've been reading The Sacred Romance recently... By recently, I mean that I am currently in the process of finishing this book, and it's happened to take me months. This doesn't surprise me, as I am a shockingly slow reader. But hey, I'll retain every word. 

As I was saying, I've been reading this book for some time. It's a fantastic book, especially for anyone with a thirst for a fresh view on this world, and what all we're doing here exactly. (co-authors Brent Curtis & John Eldridge [from Wild At Heart]) 

 

This poem stuck out to me poignantly the other day. I was really, strangely challenged by it. I mean, it's really grabbed my attention. I actually wrote out a copy of it on a scrap of paper and have it out on the table so I see it daily. It's as if it's daring me to a life truly full and free. Specifically, it spoke to my heart of our deepest desire to live free from Fear. 

Fear... fear is a very odd thing. Sorely misunderstood, I believe. I mean... as children, it's fairly straightforward, right? Kids are afraid of the dark, of the thunderstorms, the Boogie Man... things relatively tangible, but also easily explained away by our adult, rational experiences.  I remember watching the movie Dante's Peak when I was little, and- afterward- knew with ab.solute. certainty. that that very night our house would be swept away by smoldering, incinerating lava.  It wasn't until later that my mother consoled me that, 'in Texas there aren't even mountains, let alone volcanoes,' that I realized I was in fact quite safe from having my legs melted away... 

Laughable, I know. But the terror that lived in my heart, I remember, was so real. So tangible.

Fast Forward 15+ years, and we no longer concern ourselves with Boogie Men or nightlights. No, now our fears encompass an entirely different, less-tangible realm; loneliness, disappointment, heartbreak, abandonment, disapproval, failure. Now our fears are often emotional. And yet... that fear is much more real, in a way. Because those fears... they aren't necessarily impossible.

But here's my point:

This whole fear thing is really taking away from the act of people Living their lives, ya know? We get so wrapped up in the what-ifs, or the I-hope-nots that we miss out completely on reality (good & bad) that can only come with living life abundantly. And that is God's hope and desire for us: to live life abundantly.

Which is why this poem has been so inspirational to me. I love how it honestly explains that to Live fully doesn't mean to live easily, nor naturally. It utilizes words such as Wake, Urge, Patience, Forceful, Hard, Submiss, Athirst... none of those sound easy, haha. And yet, in dedication to having Him fill us, having Him provide a fullness to our lives, we're encouraged to work against our flesh's instincts, to go against the grain.

So how does one do that, exactly?...

Ben & my small group is going through another book right now (...maybe this is why it takes me forever to finish books, as I'm reading 2+ at the moment...) called The Gospel According to Jesus by Chris Seay, our pastor at Ecclesia Church. Another amaaazing book, that I can't encourage you enough to read. Essentially Seay points out our world's misunderstanding of the term "righteousness", and strives to explain how the more precise definition of it is God's Restorative Justice. Clearly we live in a broken and hurting world (thus the fear). And many of us who Know Him, know and trust that He is good and passionately involved in healing and restoring our brokenness. 

The other thing we know- our continue to learn- is that we are His handiwork, a reflection of His character. But because we are broken, our reflection is distorted. Now, I think a huge part of healing taking place in my life, is the gradual increase of knowledge that I have of Who He is, who I'm intended to reflect, and thus how I, instead, should view and live in this world. The more I know that God is Love, and that perfect love casts out fear, perfect love trusts and doesn't keep track of hurts or disappointments... the more apt I am to just rest. Just Be. Just... live. Free and full, and not in fear. 

That's one huge, long thought-process of mine... but I process it often so... thereyago. Hopefully the older that we get all our adult-version-Boogie-Men will become more easily explained away, through faith, rationale, and experience in a life fully lived.