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| Noni & Grandpa with our happy, little man |
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| Not sure why this is upside down, but... Blue Steel happens a lot around here |
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| 4 generations! |
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| perfect, little feet :) |
Our happy, little family!
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
DWJ- 2 weeks old
It's been two weeks (and three days) since our handsome little man arrived. And we're falling more and more in love each day. And- we might be a bit biased, but- we think he's the cutest thing we've ever laid eyes on. I can't believe how quickly he's growing and changing already. Time to post some pictures, before he's growing a beard and driving a car!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
David Wayne Jennings: the baby, the legend
OUR BIRTH STORY
Well a week has already passed since our lives began a whole new chapter. It has been a whirlwind; a flurry of sleeplessness, hormones, joy, beauty, and vulnerability. So many of you have lovingly sent us messages, calls, food- we are so grateful! I know I haven't exactly been easy to get a hold of; so now- having sort of gained a sense of routine- we hoped to tell our story, and update everyone on all the learning we're doing here in the Jennings' home :)
We'll set the scene for last Saturday, February 23rd, where it all started *ahem*...
Ben & I had been attempting every old wive's tale out there for naturally inducing labor. Friday night- upon my aunt Ellen's urging- we went to a restaurant called Carrabbas, where they allegedly served a "Pregnancy Dish". It was delish- and, surprisingly, not spicy.
Saturday morning we enjoyed our normal 'big breakfast' and game-morning. We decided to go for a walk with Brandi (just shy of a couple miles), and enjoyed the fabulous weather outside. After, we snagged some grub, and decided to crash for an afternoon nap. After a while, I roll over and think, "...did I just accidentally pee on myself??" Nope. My water had broke. 3:00pm, Saturday, Feb. 23rd.
We scurried to throw last minute things into our hospital bag, I showered, ate some food, called our doctor. And then... we left for the hospital! From there we began- what would be- our 24 hours of labor before little David arrived! Here is our journey!!
Early Labor
When we got to the hospital, we immediately began a Pitocin drip (an artificial form of oxytocin, teh hormone that causes contractions). Because my water had already broken, the barrier- so to speak- keeping David from any potential infection was diminished. Pitocin was deemed necessary to expedite delivery; Doctors typically provide a 24-36hour window during which labor is safe, before delivery is forced.
Contractions felt like intense cramps, coming in every 5ish minutes; noticeable, but I was able to talk through them. They hooked me up to an IV, and portable external fetal monitor & something to track contractions.
It's been a week since being home, and it's made a world of difference. David is healthy (almost completely back to birth weight after just a few days!), he eats a LOT, and I think we're actually sleeping more than what some first-time parents can say. It's certainly a learning experience, but Ben & I are falling more in love every day- we can't get enough of our little man: David Wayne Jennings.
We'll set the scene for last Saturday, February 23rd, where it all started *ahem*...
Ben & I had been attempting every old wive's tale out there for naturally inducing labor. Friday night- upon my aunt Ellen's urging- we went to a restaurant called Carrabbas, where they allegedly served a "Pregnancy Dish". It was delish- and, surprisingly, not spicy.
Saturday morning we enjoyed our normal 'big breakfast' and game-morning. We decided to go for a walk with Brandi (just shy of a couple miles), and enjoyed the fabulous weather outside. After, we snagged some grub, and decided to crash for an afternoon nap. After a while, I roll over and think, "...did I just accidentally pee on myself??" Nope. My water had broke. 3:00pm, Saturday, Feb. 23rd.
We scurried to throw last minute things into our hospital bag, I showered, ate some food, called our doctor. And then... we left for the hospital! From there we began- what would be- our 24 hours of labor before little David arrived! Here is our journey!!
Early Labor
When we got to the hospital, we immediately began a Pitocin drip (an artificial form of oxytocin, teh hormone that causes contractions). Because my water had already broken, the barrier- so to speak- keeping David from any potential infection was diminished. Pitocin was deemed necessary to expedite delivery; Doctors typically provide a 24-36hour window during which labor is safe, before delivery is forced.
Contractions felt like intense cramps, coming in every 5ish minutes; noticeable, but I was able to talk through them. They hooked me up to an IV, and portable external fetal monitor & something to track contractions.
excited!
about to go for a walk
walking the halls
visiting with family to pass the time
someone's excited to be a grandma...
practicing Gangam Style to pass the time in the waiting room...
praying for the labor- Tori is least holy
in the middle of the night
contractions!
getting more intense; unfortunately, still at 1cm
my inspiration
"a tight 1.5cm" :-\ Ben was a fantastic coach and support to me!
Epidural
At about midnight (Feb. 24th)/9 hours of labor, I finally reached 2cm. Unfortunately, Pitocin- though effective in inducing contractions- causes labor to go from 0-60 in pain. Contraction peaks are reached faster, and labor can feel abnormally intense. Once I finally reached 2cm, we decided to get an epidural. IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!
We were able to get a couple of hours of rest after the epidural. My body- finally able to relax more- was able to get to 4cm after a few hours
Tori on ice-chip duty
Ben took advantage of the epidural, and got in a few hours of sleep
at 5am (14hrs of labor) I plateaued at 5cm. Doctors decided to pause the Pitocin for an hour, because my "uterus was too tired"; contractions were stuck at 2min apart, growing more intense, but making no progress in dilation After an hour, we would resume the Pitocin, with the understanding that we needed to be at 7cm by at least 1pm Sunday (24th).
Cesarean Section
At 2pm, shockingly enough, I was still at 5cm. After 23 hours of labor... we weren't even halfway there. My doctor informed me that (at risk of infection) baby & I would need a c-section. I was so relieved. I couldn't imagine trying to labor another 12 hours in the pain/discomfort I was in, despite the epidural. All I wanted was to see my little guy!
ready to be sliced! haha
Feb. 24, 3:56pm they pulled this guy out! such a big boy- 8lb 3.5oz & 20in long!
hearing his little voice for the first time made me so emotional- he was perfect
Daddy brought him over to me so I could see him- he was so quiet once he heard our voices
I thought, "he is the strongest baby I've ever held"- he picked his own head up to look at me as I spoke to him; so alert, so perfect.
our little man- ALWAYS wants something in his mouth
meeting grandma & grandpa
Recovery
The hardest part- by far- was trying to be a mommy (breastfeed) in a hospital bed. Luckily the very first 24 hours after David arrived I was able to breastfeed- he latched perfectly on his own and thrived! But recovering left me immobile and on pain meds; on top of that, Ben & I were extremely sleep-deprived from our all-night labor the previous day, and I had struggled with a great deal of sleeplessness before my water had even broke because I had a lot of sinus/allergy issues. To say that we were tired is an understatement. My one (of two) emotional breakdowns (so far) has been the 2nd & 3rd night we were in the hospital. My milk didn't come in until we returned home (Wed. Feb. 27), so our little guy was hungry. I feel like he sucked me dry that first day. Having read up on breastfeeding, I'd convinced myself that formula was the devil, and I'd be a complete failure if I had to give him any. So when the nurse and lactation consultant said he'd lost 9% of his birthweight and needed a supplement, I was devastated. I cried & sobbed & fumed to Ben in the middle of the night, at my wit's end (hormones much?) But over time I consoled myself with the knowledge that supplementing food was better parenting than letting him starve (duh...). It was so hard for me to feel like I could truly enjoy our little guy while I was mostly stuck in bed. We were so completely thankful & happy with all of the hospital staff we worked with. But it felt like we were being pulled in all different directions: "make sure you walk around!", "rest when the baby rests", "make sure you don't hold the baby if you get sleepy", "make sure you do skin-on-skin time as much as possible!"... I couldn't get comfortable enough to hold him, or breastfeed, or sleep for that matter.
Needless to say, we were so excited when we were discharged on Wednesday.
puffy, tired, and ready to go home!!
first car ride for the big boy!
home sweet home :D
It's been a week since being home, and it's made a world of difference. David is healthy (almost completely back to birth weight after just a few days!), he eats a LOT, and I think we're actually sleeping more than what some first-time parents can say. It's certainly a learning experience, but Ben & I are falling more in love every day- we can't get enough of our little man: David Wayne Jennings.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Love Equation
Love.
What is love? If 'love is all you need', where can I find it, and how do I acquire it?
And if I should need it, why do I need it? And who says that I need it? And how much does it cost?
Love?
Where does one even begin to find these answers?
-sigh-
Well, to the beginning I suppose.
"Now the Lord God planted a garden, Eden; and there He put the man He had formed. And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground- trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food"
--Gen. 2:8-9
Of the first things formed, we see life. Life of the divine, poured out into the shape of man, of nature- breathed into everything.
And why?
Well, I'm no theologian.
But reason stands clearly in Word: for pleasure and purpose.
Aesthetic- yet functional.
Our quest is of love, yes.
But I pause to consider the inherent need of life in order to possess the ability to love.
To be loved.
...
I am a married woman.
And though this makes me little wiser in the Love Realm, it may make me sensitive to its experience... and its lacking. And if nothing else, I can at least say that I am living:
pulse, blood, breath, voice.
So as I think about this, this love... equation (beauty and function), I stare my first hand experience in the face. Marriage. Man and woman. My husband, myself.
And I chuckle aloud at the personification of these two variables, function and beauty:
Engineer and Musician.
Two living beings, completely unsimilar.
One marked by structure and numbers, science and order. Purpose. Function. Efficiency. Calculation and mathematics. Emotions are valid, yes, but public expression is saved for a select few, and really only under dire circumstances.
And then the other, whose entire career is built around the expression of emotion specifically to the public. Emotions swim up and down, and are reality. There is no reason, no method to the madness; it is feeling and intuition and improvisation. The only purpose is in fact emotional- which, in and of itself, is this formless, inexplicable and manic thing.
Is this combination- of beauty and order- really the embodiment of love?
Is not this opposition an inevitable damnation?
Or do, as people say, opposites attract?
I tell him "the horns in my head fit the holes in yours".
He laughs- has never heard that expression before.
Or.
Is it the subtle re-framing that, only by the combination (read: negotiation, collaboration, compromise) of purpose and beauty that Love is reached?
As time tells, this experience of Love is never always ripping off clothes and "take me now!"s.
Nor is it polite smiles and repeated conversation over dinner (promptly at 6:30).
It is in fact this strange thing: intention and improvisation.
It is desperate chasing, learning, resolving and listening: intention and purpose. And it is a willingness to not only admit you're wrong, but to- in selflessness- acquiesce to the other's unspoken need: change, improvise and respond to emotion.
And in some cases this equation, this production of Love, it perpetuates:
I sit here in stillness and literally feel life moving within me: this insane, miraculous, mind-boggling product of an engineer and musician.
And this little life- again, as in Eden- is both scientific and wildly beautiful.
He is science and order: with cells and chromosomes and hormones; his bones grow, his organs form, there is absolute precision in the timing and forming of every ounce of his body.
And yet he moves in excitement when he hears loud music! He moves at the sound of the engineer's voice. His body will indeed reflect parts of mine and parts of my husbands- beauty. Creation. Life.
There is new life within me, and BECAUSE of the science and medicine, my mind can hardly grasp any of it, except that it's truly, unequivocally, breathtakingly beautiful.
It is not all of one or the other. The two together create this greater, more powerful cycle:
There is Life that creates order and beauty, purpose and pleasure for love's sake. And Love, in the implementation of intention and improvisation, produces more life.
I am filled with life, and filled with love.
Love.
Love is all I need.
For my Life depends on it.
Love.
The combination of beauty and purpose.
Pleasure, creativity, and expression;
structure, precision, and order.
Love.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Letters to David- Part 2
11/3/12, 5:00am
Morning, my sweet boy :) I have been up for a long while feeling your little kicks. This seems to be another big growth-week for you. Some evenings I feel like my stomach can't stretch fast enough to meet your growing needs; you're getting so big! I love feeling your kicks and squirms :) I can't get enough of them. But sometimes they tickle. It feels like... like a little explosion in my stomach, haha. I don't know how to describe it. But you're getting so big (you're about 7-8 inches from head to rump), so when you kick and extend your little arms and legs, I feel your movement all across my tummy. I think about newborns, and their adorable, flailing arms and legs; I imagine you're little nerve synapses are firing away, throwing your little limbs all over :)
My little man, I can't wait to see you. I just can't wait to see what your face looks like! I think about that all the time. Yesterday, Noni and I went looking and baby-stuff again. I think Daddy and I are going to register for your crib etc this weekend. Goodness gracious, they have some wild baby "necessities" out there. Noni laughs at a lot of the things we see, haha. I think you will have some pretty cool stuff, though.
Check out your room theme: Robots!! I think you will love it, if you have any ounce of your daddy's personality in you (which... I imagine you do...). Your nursery is already painted that yummy peanut-butter color; so basically everything in the room will have blue, green & orange accents; little pops of color everywhere! :) Here is the fabric I'm pretty sure we're going to use; Noni is going to make your crib skirt/bumper custom! Robots don't seem to be super popular- mostly Noah's Ark themes etc. But how cute is this:
Morning, my sweet boy :) I have been up for a long while feeling your little kicks. This seems to be another big growth-week for you. Some evenings I feel like my stomach can't stretch fast enough to meet your growing needs; you're getting so big! I love feeling your kicks and squirms :) I can't get enough of them. But sometimes they tickle. It feels like... like a little explosion in my stomach, haha. I don't know how to describe it. But you're getting so big (you're about 7-8 inches from head to rump), so when you kick and extend your little arms and legs, I feel your movement all across my tummy. I think about newborns, and their adorable, flailing arms and legs; I imagine you're little nerve synapses are firing away, throwing your little limbs all over :)
My little man, I can't wait to see you. I just can't wait to see what your face looks like! I think about that all the time. Yesterday, Noni and I went looking and baby-stuff again. I think Daddy and I are going to register for your crib etc this weekend. Goodness gracious, they have some wild baby "necessities" out there. Noni laughs at a lot of the things we see, haha. I think you will have some pretty cool stuff, though.
Check out your room theme: Robots!! I think you will love it, if you have any ounce of your daddy's personality in you (which... I imagine you do...). Your nursery is already painted that yummy peanut-butter color; so basically everything in the room will have blue, green & orange accents; little pops of color everywhere! :) Here is the fabric I'm pretty sure we're going to use; Noni is going to make your crib skirt/bumper custom! Robots don't seem to be super popular- mostly Noah's Ark themes etc. But how cute is this:
I think it is stinkin' adorable. We will have so much fun getting ready for you, little boy! And you'll be here faster than we know it! It's already November, which I can hardly believe. This will be a pretty busy month especially with Thanksgiving a few weeks away. Then before we know it, you, Daddy and I will be in Spokane visiting Granny and Granddad and all your cousins for Christmas! Who knows, maybe Auntie Jenell will have your baby cousin while we're there... But as soon as we hit the holidays, time is going to fly. Then a quick, last couple of weeks in Jan. for me to work, and bam: Feb. I'm not going to work for any of February. It's already getting pretty exhausting teaching my far fewer hours even now... you are quite the wiggle worm, and I think you somehow consume part of my brain when your little body gets my food/nourishment. Forming thoughtful sentences and suggestions to students (or, you know, staying awake) is way more challenging. Last week I did some getting-up, sitting-downs a few times during one student's lesson; when I commented on how tired it made me, my student's mom told me I looked "much bigger this week". I'm going to go ahead and say she was talking to you.
But all in all, little man, I love being your mommy so far. I really enjoy being pregnant! That's not to say that it's super easy. Two nights ago Mommy cried for some time because I was just so uncomfortable and exhausted. Thank God I found this body pillow at Babies R Us yesterday; it's called a "Snoogle" haha. It was way more comfortable to sleep with (for the first few hours tonight)... but now I'm just... awake. I hope it will help a lot with my quality of sleep though. Mommy's feet hurt pretty badly, too. Daddy gives some pretty good foot-rubs, though. He is a sweet man. I hope you are just like him. He is a good friend; he loves to help people. He is so creative, and yet meticulous and calculating. He has a great sense of humor and wit- he makes me laugh quite a bit. I hope he teaches you all of these things; they are some of my favorite qualities I see in him. I almost fear which qualities of mine you'll inheret, haha... I mean, if you're musical or artistic that would be really cool, but I don't necessarily wish that on you. I imagine if you're feisty or stubborn... that may or may not be my fingerprint... although Daddy can be a little stubborn at times. If you're quiet & thoughtful, that's totally Daddy's trademark- I possess very little of that. If you are loud and crave the spotlight, I'll claim that. Curly hair is me, fo sho. Blue eyes, Daddy :) Aaaand if you're a genius, we'll just call it 50/50!
But honestly, little man, I just can't wait to know who you are. I bet it will be so surreal to witness parts of my character or Daddy's (or even your grandparents/aunts/uncles) in you. But part of what I look forward to the most is what parts of you are just... you. Just God's fingerprint on your little personality. I don't care if you're musical or scientific, athletic or poetic. I just want to love you, and show you that who you are is priceless, unique, and has a purpose only you can fulfill.
I love you, little David. Keep growing. Keep kicking. Keep getting stronger, baby.
-Mommy
Friday, October 19, 2012
Letters to David- Part 1
10/19/12, 4:18am
Morning, handsome boy :) You are such an active little man! You are just a few days shy of 5 months, which means we are passed the half-way mark! In a few hours we're supposed to have a Doctor's appointment- we will officially begin measuring your growth, and I think we'll be able to look through all your ultrasound pictures from last week!
You are such a big boy! I read a few days ago that babies are around 10oz during 21wks. But the doctor told us LAST week that you were 13-14oz. What a chunk; I love it! And I can tell you've been growing a lot because I'm having some sleep issues, and I'm a tad bit... ooooh, how do we say.... hormonal. Plus, you are getting strong enough for me to feel all your little movements! Especially at 4am.
Here are some things I've learned about you in the past couple of weeks:
-you either really do or really don't like the sound of the blender; every time I make a smoothie, you go wild! I think it might wake you up; it is pretty loud. But "Aunt TiTi" (Tori) says it's because because you know some yummy noms are on the way, and you get excited.
-You are moving and awake most around 12pm, 4-5pm, 9pm, and 3-5am.
-You get stage fright. You move so much for Mommy, and then I get all excited and tell Daddy to feel your little wiggles, and then you stop. In your defense, though, that is a lot of pressure: this is Daddy's first go at having a fetus around. Performance anxiety, etc etc- I get it, don't worry.
-YOU ARE A BOY! I guess that's pretty significant, haha :) We found out last week! Noni (Grandma) and Pops (Grandpa, what name are you going with??) threw you a gender reveal party; it was so much fun! We played an Old Wive's Tale game, and odds were definitely stacked against ya, bud. Way to show 'em wrong!
-You are pretty freakin' cute. I carry around your ultrasound picture with me a lot. Your little profile just looks so precious! You had me and Daddy cracking up last week during the ultrasound: feet kicked back & crossed, and arms propped behind your head. Daddy's Little Man, for sure. For some of it, though, you were folded in half practically... you seemed to like it, though? *shrug*
-Also, it seems like you like to keep your ankles crossed a lot. The ultrasounds we've had most recently prove this; and it makes your little kicks that much more powerful, because you kick with both feet- BAM. Skill, son, skill.
After our Doctor's appt tomorrow, you, me, Noni and Meems (your great-grandma) are going to look around at 'baby stuff'. Now that we know you're a boy, the floodgates have opened. Everyone is SO excited!! During the gender reveal party we were able to skype with Granny and Granddad, and Aunt Bethany, too! We're so excited for you: you will have so many cousins to play with, right off the bat. Cousin Wyatt and Paul are old timers, they'll show ya the ropes. But Aunt Bethany and Aunt Jenell are both bringing you a boy cousin each, a month or two before you! And then Princess/Cousin Helen will rule all 5 of you boys with an iron, feminine fist. I can't wait for the day when all 6 of you cousins can play together!
Well little man... it's almost 5am. I am going to try to get more sleep before Daddy and I have to be up for the appointment. I think me sitting up has lulled you back to sleep... maybe...
We love you, David! We are so proud of your growth, and we grow more and more excited to see your little face in person. I love you, little man. You bring my heart so much joy and fascination.
Night, baby!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
And Baby Makes 3
Yup. You guessed it: Ben and I are going to have a baby! We are _______ (excited, thrilled, terrified; you name it, we are probably that) about our little one on the way!! So LOOK OUT, everyone, end of Feb/beginning of March 2013, another Jennings is on the way. And the cutest most adorable Jennings/Maydwell-combo baby yet... yeah, think on that...
Well... it's 4:08am on July 6, 2012 (Happy Birthday, Mom!). If you thought I usually ramble, let's try adding hormones, sleeplessness, and nausea and see what happens? This is the umpteeth time I find myself wide awake in the middle of the night after only a month of pregnancy, so I figure... why not put the time to some use, even just for some cathartic journaling on my part. By the time all of my masses *royal wave* read this good news, we will (prayerfully) be through the first trimester, so you can just play catch-up and read all these details to convince you that, yes, I'm pregnant, and no, I am not yanking all y'all's chains. So here we go:
07/06/12
Morning sweet baby,
It is very early in the morning; Mommy doesn't sleep very well anymore because I'm so hormonal. And, even though you're only like .5cm right now, you make me have to pee all the time. But that's OK, it just means you're growing, and I love that! Today, you are 4 weeks and 4 days! This was an exciting week for you, me, and Daddy- we went to the Dr on Monday and confirmed what the 3 pregnancy tests showed (I had to be thorough): you are here, and you're growing! Daddy & I have been trying to keep you a secret, but we told your Granny & Granddad, and Grandma & Grandpa, and all your aunts and uncles. You are already so loved and prayed for! I think announcing you was one of Grandma's favorite birthday presents ever- she has been waiting for you for some time, apparently :)
When Daddy & I first found out, we immediately went to the bookstore and loaded up on books to get us ready for you! We were so surprised, because we didn't think God would be so generous with us as soon as we began asking and praying for you. So we hope and pray that He will make us as ready and wise as you'll need us to be when we meet you face to face. We have lots of reading to do- I love finding out how you're growing each week, & knowing what foods to eat that will help keep you safe & strong; your Daddy is already such an amazing help! You'll love him, he's so sweet and comforting, and he'll help you with so many things as you get older.
It is a little scary, though, knowing you're inside me. I get paranoid if I feel too sick, and then even more paranoid if I don't feel sick at all. The first few days after I first found out you were here, I was happy!... but also confused that I didn't magically, immediately feel Mom-y. But I don't think that usually happens anyway. I want to be super-human and control everything for you: I want to make sure nothing bad happens, I want to keep you healthy & strong, I want you to know you're loved no matter what you'll look or act like, I want to protect you! But... God is good (and patient), and reminds me that, even if I could hold you in my arms, I can't control a single thing. I have a feeling He will be teaching me this for your (and my) entire life... especially in your teen years, God help us all. And if something bad or challenging does happen for you, I know it's because your spirit is so sweet that God wants you with Him soon; and maybe because He wants to spare you from some of the hurt that does happen in this world. I don't like thinking about that- but sometimes my mind wanders and I get panicked. This is the reality of life, and I'm so tempted to worry. But worrying won't protect you or keep you safe- so I can only trust that God will, in His own way. He is blessing me and your Daddy in learning how to be selfless, and gracious, and loving.
Daddy & I pray for you every night, and joke about all sorts of things. Daddy likes to come up with really weird names for you. Don't worry, we won't stick you with something you'll be made fun of. But for now, we have taken to calling you, 'Baby', 'the bug', or whatever other object our books compare your size with. (Next week will be a bean!) Mainly we're trying to just get everything as organized as we can before you arrive; I think once you do, you will bring a lot of fun, beautiful, and new un-organization.
Ok, it's almost 5am, and I am finally sleepy again. Before I started writing you, I was lying in bed thinking about a Broccoli Cheddar soup-bowl (with Caesar salad) from Panera... I have been hating the idea of food lately, but that sounds glorious, and I am making Daddy take us there tomorrow for a date. Love you, sweet bug!
--Mommy
07/11/12, 3:40am
Sweet Baby!
Daddy & I saw you on an ultrasound yesterday! We were able to see your beating little heart- we were so happy and surprised. You are five weeks old, which is when your little heart was supposed to finish forming and begin pumping- we were so thrilled to see for ourselves! We are more and more excited.
Last night we told some of our neighbors and friends when they came over for dinner- everyone screamed and laughed with happiness! You already have such a fan-club- I hope it doesn't go to your head... :)
It makes me so happy to know that you're growing strong. My nausea is pretty constant throughout the day- but it's a sweet reminder to me that you're healthy! I would much rather have that than not. The only true unfortunate part is the headaches- I think that's just from how I've been sleeping (or not sleeping). Daddy went and bought some Tylenol, but I'm trying not to take much medicine while you're growing.
Food is such a huge/odd part of pregnancy. Unfortunately, everything looks awful. The books say to more snack/graze throughout the entire day, instead of eat big meals. This definitely helps with the nausea. But it's a challenging task, to open the fridge 15 times a day, only to gag and the sight of everything. I told your Daddy we need to just spend a weekend cooking up lots of yummy veggies, so all I have to do is mindlessly warm up meals, instead of having to stare at it all, make my choice, then stare at it some more as I prepare it. Bleck. My very favorite snack is some whole wheat toast with cream cheese. I could eat cream cheese all day if you let me- I wonder if you'll like it when you grow up?
Daddy & I are so excited to meet you!! I told him that I've watched friends go through their pregnancies, and I'm always surprised at how quickly the time seems to pass- 9 months & poof: a baby. I kinda assumed it would be the same feeling. But then I told your Daddy, I don't think it's the same when you're the one who has to battle the morning sickness each day... eh well :) I know we probably need all the time we can get to prepare for your sweet arrival!
This past weekend Daddy & I painted your nursery- "peanut butter". Grandma is going to have a hayday getting the room ready- I'm sure you'll love it! We will put all sorts of colorful things in there to mesmerize your little eyes. Eyes! I wonder what color they will be! I kind of hope that they will be blue- I love your Daddy's eyes. All of his family has blue/green eyes. Your Daddy loves my eyes, though- he says they're exotic (apparently), haha. I like the way that sounds. I think whatever color they will be, they will be perfectly you, and perfectly beautiful!
It was so fun to have all our friends over last night- you will have so many buddies to play with, as soon as you come out! You will have a few older, wiser toddlers to show you the ropes. But you will also have baby Sierra & Baby Evan as comrades in... swaddling cloths...? It's kind of amazing to realize how many people already love you and look forward to seeing you. We are truly humbled and blessed by you.
I love you, little baby. When I first found out I was pregnant, I wondered if, or how, or when I'd learn to love you. But I love knowing that you're part of me & your Daddy; I wonder what kind of combination you will be! I could think on that all day. I will try to get back to sleep, and let that thought carry me away into dreams of you...
--Mommy
07/20/12, 4:25am
My little love,
I think you must be on some sort of timer- I always wake up at 3:00am! I've already been up a while; poor Daddy has 'a throat', and isn't sleeping well. I already wasn't sleeping well, but I think the snoring/tossing is making it impossible. I would rather come out here and write you a tiny bit :)
You are almost 7 weeks old now! We are officially half-way through the first trimester. I can't believe it! We haven't had as many milestones since last week when we went to the doctor for the ultrasound. I have an appointment a week from today- we're so looking forward to it: we get to see you again!! You are growing so quickly each week. You are probably over .5inch now- that's a lot of growing for just a couple of weeks. Right now your ears are developing- so cool! Daddy & I will talk to you all the time- I can't wait to play music for you! I wonder if certain kinds of music/noise/voices will make you move more. I will definitely be one of those moms-to-be who put headphones on their stomachs and play classical music for you. Don't worry, I'll throw in some Baroque, Romantic, Neo-Classical and 20th Century for your added benefit- don't want to keep you from being well-rounded! haha :) Don't worry, I'll play all sorts of stuff for you- but I draw the line at Justin Beiber & Miley Cyrus. Sorry...
I was reading this National Geographic book called "In The Womb"- I am astounded on a whole new level at the miraculous mystery of having you inside of me. The book described that- chemically- our bodies would immediately fight & kill any form of growth that contains tissue with a different genetic makeup than our own, were it to begin growing inside your body. The fact that your genetic makeup is a combination of mine and Daddy's, and is technically equivalent to a tumor in way of extra-genetic growth, yet you're able to survive is straight up insanely miraculous. Apparently you are able to survive because the very end of the placenta carries "Major Histo(tissue)compatibility Complex" (MHC-G) molecules that helps hide your DNA's "other-ness" from the rest of my body's immune's system...?!?!? I don't know how people can not believe in Something divine when they truly see and learn about the human body and birth.
Ok my sweet baby- I think I am finally feeling sleepy again. Luckily I am not working tomorrow, so I can hopefully rest a little longer in the morning. I love you!! I love you so, so much, and I hope you're growing strong and healthily.
--Mommy
09/06/12, 11:05am
BABY!
You've been so sweet, letting me sleep the past couple of months.
Today you are 15 weeks and 2 days; you are about 4.5in and weigh roughly 1.75ounces! You fatty :) The book says you're the size of a softball! Whoa. I am surprised I am not showing more, but I'm definitely beginning to show. Or... at least I can't wear "normal" clothes any more. By the end of this week you will be almost 3oz, the size of my "hand opened wide"! That's a lot of growing :) Good going, baby.
I had a dream last night that I could feel you moving! It was just a dream, though. I can't wait to feel you move!!! Any week now...
Well, Baby, the idea of you arriving seems more and more real. I love it! And I love you so much- I think about you all the time! We are officially in the 2nd trimester- we announced you to the whole world a couple of weeks ago! Such a fun, exciting day. You have so many people who love you already.
Daddy and I (...mainly I) have a pre-baby To-Do List that we (I) are really concerned about accomplishing ASAP. Daddy is fantastic and does all the grunt work. I basically just stress out that it's not all magically finished. I believe they call it "nesting". But, on the bright side, I finally feel more like myself again! I think I had the first trimester relatively easy, compared to some women; but I was definitely exhausted, frumpy, & sick-feeling all the time. I didn't mind it too much, though- it just always reminded me that you were growing; that made it all worth it! But I'm OK with not feeling that way now :) I know you're still growing, because now I have to pee even more often in the middle of the night. I've never been a middle-of-the-night-potty-breaker. Also, apparently my body is producing a bunch of stuff called Relaxin, which is making all of my bones and ligaments loosey goosey because you are growing so much you're pushing all of my organs up into my torso. What the heck, that is insane. That just boggles my mind. It also makes my back/tailbone really sore, because it's not all sturdy and in-place the way it usually is. I think this means I need more massages... darn... :)
So, Baby, guess what?? You are either a boy or girl!! News to you, right? Well, we don't know which one you are yet, but in a few weeks, we're gonna find out!!! I think we're going to have a gender reveal party; Daddy and I want to be surprised with everyone else, so we're going to tell our Dr. to write down what your junk is, so to speak. I'm pretty sure about 92% of every single person we've asked thinks you're a girl. If you're a boy, I hope you're not offended.
Grandma is so. excited. I think she's physically in pain not having purchased you any clothing yet. Granny and Granddad got you this super cute duckie onsie. I think it will fit you right around Easter time- how cute will you be?? Also, I got you this TOTALLY AWESOME Tommy Trojan onesie.
When you are about 6mo old, Daddy and I will teach you all about this very, very special thing called USC Football. It is a magical time of year, much like your birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving. You will get to wear all sorts of cute things like jerseys, your Tommy Trojan onsie, and (depending on the whole boy/girl situation), USC cheer outfits. Or more jerseys. We'll see.
Daddy and I are just so excited to meet you. I wonder all the time what combination of me and your daddy you will be. Will you be quiet and intuitive? Will you be loud and rambunctious? Will your hair curl? Will you be chubby?... I'm fairly certain of that one- you'll just have to see pictures of me and your daddy. I don't think you have much of a choice. I just can't wait to see your little face for the first time. It will be a dream come true. Daddy is so excited to see the way you respond to his voice. It's so wild to me that you will already know who we are when we see you for the first time.
Ok, my little love. I have to get ready to work. I love you, I love you, I love you.
--Mommy
Well... it's 4:08am on July 6, 2012 (Happy Birthday, Mom!). If you thought I usually ramble, let's try adding hormones, sleeplessness, and nausea and see what happens? This is the umpteeth time I find myself wide awake in the middle of the night after only a month of pregnancy, so I figure... why not put the time to some use, even just for some cathartic journaling on my part. By the time all of my masses *royal wave* read this good news, we will (prayerfully) be through the first trimester, so you can just play catch-up and read all these details to convince you that, yes, I'm pregnant, and no, I am not yanking all y'all's chains. So here we go:
07/06/12
Morning sweet baby,
It is very early in the morning; Mommy doesn't sleep very well anymore because I'm so hormonal. And, even though you're only like .5cm right now, you make me have to pee all the time. But that's OK, it just means you're growing, and I love that! Today, you are 4 weeks and 4 days! This was an exciting week for you, me, and Daddy- we went to the Dr on Monday and confirmed what the 3 pregnancy tests showed (I had to be thorough): you are here, and you're growing! Daddy & I have been trying to keep you a secret, but we told your Granny & Granddad, and Grandma & Grandpa, and all your aunts and uncles. You are already so loved and prayed for! I think announcing you was one of Grandma's favorite birthday presents ever- she has been waiting for you for some time, apparently :)
When Daddy & I first found out, we immediately went to the bookstore and loaded up on books to get us ready for you! We were so surprised, because we didn't think God would be so generous with us as soon as we began asking and praying for you. So we hope and pray that He will make us as ready and wise as you'll need us to be when we meet you face to face. We have lots of reading to do- I love finding out how you're growing each week, & knowing what foods to eat that will help keep you safe & strong; your Daddy is already such an amazing help! You'll love him, he's so sweet and comforting, and he'll help you with so many things as you get older.
It is a little scary, though, knowing you're inside me. I get paranoid if I feel too sick, and then even more paranoid if I don't feel sick at all. The first few days after I first found out you were here, I was happy!... but also confused that I didn't magically, immediately feel Mom-y. But I don't think that usually happens anyway. I want to be super-human and control everything for you: I want to make sure nothing bad happens, I want to keep you healthy & strong, I want you to know you're loved no matter what you'll look or act like, I want to protect you! But... God is good (and patient), and reminds me that, even if I could hold you in my arms, I can't control a single thing. I have a feeling He will be teaching me this for your (and my) entire life... especially in your teen years, God help us all. And if something bad or challenging does happen for you, I know it's because your spirit is so sweet that God wants you with Him soon; and maybe because He wants to spare you from some of the hurt that does happen in this world. I don't like thinking about that- but sometimes my mind wanders and I get panicked. This is the reality of life, and I'm so tempted to worry. But worrying won't protect you or keep you safe- so I can only trust that God will, in His own way. He is blessing me and your Daddy in learning how to be selfless, and gracious, and loving.
Daddy & I pray for you every night, and joke about all sorts of things. Daddy likes to come up with really weird names for you. Don't worry, we won't stick you with something you'll be made fun of. But for now, we have taken to calling you, 'Baby', 'the bug', or whatever other object our books compare your size with. (Next week will be a bean!) Mainly we're trying to just get everything as organized as we can before you arrive; I think once you do, you will bring a lot of fun, beautiful, and new un-organization.
Ok, it's almost 5am, and I am finally sleepy again. Before I started writing you, I was lying in bed thinking about a Broccoli Cheddar soup-bowl (with Caesar salad) from Panera... I have been hating the idea of food lately, but that sounds glorious, and I am making Daddy take us there tomorrow for a date. Love you, sweet bug!
--Mommy
07/11/12, 3:40am
Sweet Baby!
Daddy & I saw you on an ultrasound yesterday! We were able to see your beating little heart- we were so happy and surprised. You are five weeks old, which is when your little heart was supposed to finish forming and begin pumping- we were so thrilled to see for ourselves! We are more and more excited.
Last night we told some of our neighbors and friends when they came over for dinner- everyone screamed and laughed with happiness! You already have such a fan-club- I hope it doesn't go to your head... :)
It makes me so happy to know that you're growing strong. My nausea is pretty constant throughout the day- but it's a sweet reminder to me that you're healthy! I would much rather have that than not. The only true unfortunate part is the headaches- I think that's just from how I've been sleeping (or not sleeping). Daddy went and bought some Tylenol, but I'm trying not to take much medicine while you're growing.
Food is such a huge/odd part of pregnancy. Unfortunately, everything looks awful. The books say to more snack/graze throughout the entire day, instead of eat big meals. This definitely helps with the nausea. But it's a challenging task, to open the fridge 15 times a day, only to gag and the sight of everything. I told your Daddy we need to just spend a weekend cooking up lots of yummy veggies, so all I have to do is mindlessly warm up meals, instead of having to stare at it all, make my choice, then stare at it some more as I prepare it. Bleck. My very favorite snack is some whole wheat toast with cream cheese. I could eat cream cheese all day if you let me- I wonder if you'll like it when you grow up?
Daddy & I are so excited to meet you!! I told him that I've watched friends go through their pregnancies, and I'm always surprised at how quickly the time seems to pass- 9 months & poof: a baby. I kinda assumed it would be the same feeling. But then I told your Daddy, I don't think it's the same when you're the one who has to battle the morning sickness each day... eh well :) I know we probably need all the time we can get to prepare for your sweet arrival!
This past weekend Daddy & I painted your nursery- "peanut butter". Grandma is going to have a hayday getting the room ready- I'm sure you'll love it! We will put all sorts of colorful things in there to mesmerize your little eyes. Eyes! I wonder what color they will be! I kind of hope that they will be blue- I love your Daddy's eyes. All of his family has blue/green eyes. Your Daddy loves my eyes, though- he says they're exotic (apparently), haha. I like the way that sounds. I think whatever color they will be, they will be perfectly you, and perfectly beautiful!
It was so fun to have all our friends over last night- you will have so many buddies to play with, as soon as you come out! You will have a few older, wiser toddlers to show you the ropes. But you will also have baby Sierra & Baby Evan as comrades in... swaddling cloths...? It's kind of amazing to realize how many people already love you and look forward to seeing you. We are truly humbled and blessed by you.
I love you, little baby. When I first found out I was pregnant, I wondered if, or how, or when I'd learn to love you. But I love knowing that you're part of me & your Daddy; I wonder what kind of combination you will be! I could think on that all day. I will try to get back to sleep, and let that thought carry me away into dreams of you...
--Mommy
07/20/12, 4:25am
My little love,
I think you must be on some sort of timer- I always wake up at 3:00am! I've already been up a while; poor Daddy has 'a throat', and isn't sleeping well. I already wasn't sleeping well, but I think the snoring/tossing is making it impossible. I would rather come out here and write you a tiny bit :)
You are almost 7 weeks old now! We are officially half-way through the first trimester. I can't believe it! We haven't had as many milestones since last week when we went to the doctor for the ultrasound. I have an appointment a week from today- we're so looking forward to it: we get to see you again!! You are growing so quickly each week. You are probably over .5inch now- that's a lot of growing for just a couple of weeks. Right now your ears are developing- so cool! Daddy & I will talk to you all the time- I can't wait to play music for you! I wonder if certain kinds of music/noise/voices will make you move more. I will definitely be one of those moms-to-be who put headphones on their stomachs and play classical music for you. Don't worry, I'll throw in some Baroque, Romantic, Neo-Classical and 20th Century for your added benefit- don't want to keep you from being well-rounded! haha :) Don't worry, I'll play all sorts of stuff for you- but I draw the line at Justin Beiber & Miley Cyrus. Sorry...
I was reading this National Geographic book called "In The Womb"- I am astounded on a whole new level at the miraculous mystery of having you inside of me. The book described that- chemically- our bodies would immediately fight & kill any form of growth that contains tissue with a different genetic makeup than our own, were it to begin growing inside your body. The fact that your genetic makeup is a combination of mine and Daddy's, and is technically equivalent to a tumor in way of extra-genetic growth, yet you're able to survive is straight up insanely miraculous. Apparently you are able to survive because the very end of the placenta carries "Major Histo(tissue)compatibility Complex" (MHC-G) molecules that helps hide your DNA's "other-ness" from the rest of my body's immune's system...?!?!? I don't know how people can not believe in Something divine when they truly see and learn about the human body and birth.
Ok my sweet baby- I think I am finally feeling sleepy again. Luckily I am not working tomorrow, so I can hopefully rest a little longer in the morning. I love you!! I love you so, so much, and I hope you're growing strong and healthily.
--Mommy
09/06/12, 11:05am
BABY!
You've been so sweet, letting me sleep the past couple of months.
Today you are 15 weeks and 2 days; you are about 4.5in and weigh roughly 1.75ounces! You fatty :) The book says you're the size of a softball! Whoa. I am surprised I am not showing more, but I'm definitely beginning to show. Or... at least I can't wear "normal" clothes any more. By the end of this week you will be almost 3oz, the size of my "hand opened wide"! That's a lot of growing :) Good going, baby.
I had a dream last night that I could feel you moving! It was just a dream, though. I can't wait to feel you move!!! Any week now...
Well, Baby, the idea of you arriving seems more and more real. I love it! And I love you so much- I think about you all the time! We are officially in the 2nd trimester- we announced you to the whole world a couple of weeks ago! Such a fun, exciting day. You have so many people who love you already.
Daddy and I (...mainly I) have a pre-baby To-Do List that we (I) are really concerned about accomplishing ASAP. Daddy is fantastic and does all the grunt work. I basically just stress out that it's not all magically finished. I believe they call it "nesting". But, on the bright side, I finally feel more like myself again! I think I had the first trimester relatively easy, compared to some women; but I was definitely exhausted, frumpy, & sick-feeling all the time. I didn't mind it too much, though- it just always reminded me that you were growing; that made it all worth it! But I'm OK with not feeling that way now :) I know you're still growing, because now I have to pee even more often in the middle of the night. I've never been a middle-of-the-night-potty-breaker. Also, apparently my body is producing a bunch of stuff called Relaxin, which is making all of my bones and ligaments loosey goosey because you are growing so much you're pushing all of my organs up into my torso. What the heck, that is insane. That just boggles my mind. It also makes my back/tailbone really sore, because it's not all sturdy and in-place the way it usually is. I think this means I need more massages... darn... :)
So, Baby, guess what?? You are either a boy or girl!! News to you, right? Well, we don't know which one you are yet, but in a few weeks, we're gonna find out!!! I think we're going to have a gender reveal party; Daddy and I want to be surprised with everyone else, so we're going to tell our Dr. to write down what your junk is, so to speak. I'm pretty sure about 92% of every single person we've asked thinks you're a girl. If you're a boy, I hope you're not offended.
Grandma is so. excited. I think she's physically in pain not having purchased you any clothing yet. Granny and Granddad got you this super cute duckie onsie. I think it will fit you right around Easter time- how cute will you be?? Also, I got you this TOTALLY AWESOME Tommy Trojan onesie.
When you are about 6mo old, Daddy and I will teach you all about this very, very special thing called USC Football. It is a magical time of year, much like your birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving. You will get to wear all sorts of cute things like jerseys, your Tommy Trojan onsie, and (depending on the whole boy/girl situation), USC cheer outfits. Or more jerseys. We'll see.
Daddy and I are just so excited to meet you. I wonder all the time what combination of me and your daddy you will be. Will you be quiet and intuitive? Will you be loud and rambunctious? Will your hair curl? Will you be chubby?... I'm fairly certain of that one- you'll just have to see pictures of me and your daddy. I don't think you have much of a choice. I just can't wait to see your little face for the first time. It will be a dream come true. Daddy is so excited to see the way you respond to his voice. It's so wild to me that you will already know who we are when we see you for the first time.
Ok, my little love. I have to get ready to work. I love you, I love you, I love you.
--Mommy
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